You know the Rorschach test, that thing where you look at inkblot patterns and explain what you see? Roger Covin, a clinical psychologist based in Ottawa and the author of The Need to Be Liked, says he tells his clients to imagine themselves as those splotches on the page. Below, some psychologist-endorsed (and actually helpful) tips for caring a little less about being liked. Of course I know, on an intellectual level, that it doesnвЂ™t affect my life one way or the other whether this stranger thinks IвЂ™m delightful - that doesnвЂ™t stop me from wanting them to. HereвЂ™s the problem: Just tell yourself it doesnвЂ™t matter if they like you, quite frankly, is dumb advice. There are plenty of us out there, people who feel similarly icky about seeming disapproval from customer-service reps, cabdrivers, or people behind them in line at the grocery store. But I do know, just from talking about it with friends, that IвЂ™m not the only one with this particular struggle. I donвЂ™t know why this is such a persistent thing - maybe itвЂ™s a hallmark of a neurotic personality, or maybe itвЂ™s a cousin of social anxiety, something that affects an estimated 7 percent of adults in the U.S. IвЂ™m talking about total strangers, people IвЂ™ll meet once and then maybe, probably, never interact with again. IвЂ™m not talking about a boss or a co-worker it makes sense, to some degree, to be concerned about how much those people like you. ItвЂ™s an exhausting way to go through life, for that matter. Everyone tells you wedding planning is going to be emotionally exhausting, but no one tells you itвЂ™s that much more so if you have a deep-seated, seemingly unshakable need to be liked by everyone you encounter. ItвЂ™s just that I prefer the calls where I hang up feeling like weвЂ™ve connected - like the two of us, in any other context, would maybe be pals. But fine always leaves me a little rattled, a little down. Which makes sense it was a business call, after all, and I was a potential client. The voice on the other end of the line was cool, professional, neutral. The reason I remember it vividly, though - the reason I feel just a tiny bit squirmy even now,В thinking back - is precisely because it was so unremarkable.

There wasnвЂ™t anything remarkable about this particular conversation: I asked questions about bouquets and centerpieces, she answered them, I dutifully typed notes in an ever-growing Google Doc labeled вЂњwedding stuff.вЂќ Armstrong Roberts/ClassicStock/Getty ImagesДЄ few weeks ago, I called a florist.

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